Wife
by Living.Like.A.Boss
Summary: America has just learnt that Sweden calls Finland his wife. He decides to do the same to England. Obviously, England isn't very pleased. USUK
1. Part One

**Wife**

**Summary: **America has just learnt that Sweden calls Finland his wife. He decides to do the same to England. Obviously, England isn't very pleased. USUK

**Warning(s): **Characters might be OOC, Usage of both country and human names

**Author's Note: **This fic is…I don't know. Fluffy and crack galore, I hope!

P.S. I'm sorry for Sweden's speech. I'm not sure how I should write how he talks. I heard you cut out the vowels…?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything; Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. Also, I'm not American or British so anything regarding these two countries should not be taken too strictly.

* * *

><p><em>Part One<em>

America wasn't sitting next to England. He had come a little bit too late and the two seats next to England for the World Meeting had been taken up.

It's not even that he came late! Everyone just came too damn early. Dammit, Alfred wondered if he could make it a rule that no one could come in earlier than him _or _take his seat next to Arthur. It was _his _seat after all. But since this time's World Meeting was held in Japan, he probably didn't have _as_ much authority.

Though Kiku was like his best bud...

Well anyway, since France and Spain were dominating England's sides and refused to leave—and Germany had ordered him to find a seat quickly so that they could resume the meeting, which meant America couldn't force them to _move the fuck away—_he had to sit at the only available seat left. Next to Sweden.

America grumbled throughout the meeting, keeping his eyes glued onto England's position to ensure France (or Spain, you never know) wouldn't try any funny business. Not that England wouldn't be able to defend himself but come on—Alfred had to be Arthur's hero, whether he knew it or not. America was so busy staring intently at England that he didn't even talk about his awesome plans to stop global warming like he usually would. Nor did he take a short power nap during the boring presentations (that England would usually lecture him for doing, that hypocrite!)

He gritted his teeth as the hours ticked by slowly. Being nations meant that he and Arthur could not see each other very often, since they lived on separate continents. And though people called taking a trip to America from England and vice versa going 'across the pond', it was clear that that was one _damn _big pond. And factoring all those things in, America did not like being apart from his lover now that they could actually be near each other. It was _killing _him. Really, it was.

Only the fact that he was a strong country, the great United States of America, the brilliant, dazzling hero, was what kept him going. A lesser man than he would be drowning in desire to be closer... closer…

"Shouldn't y'u pay attention?" A voice grunted from beside him. It sounded sort of harsh. America turned to see Sweden looking at him…disapprovingly? Well, Sweden was giving him the most uncomfortable stare—to be honest, America couldn't really be certain if it were supposed to intimidate him or if it was his normal look. But of course America wouldn't be scared anyway! Of course not!

…Still he felt inclined to answer.

"Uh—yeah? Sorry 'bout that. I was just—never mind. I'll pay attention," America muttered under his breath, though he had no intention of shifting his attention from Arthur. Surely he would be able to fake interest. He was good at that, especially with how often England tended to ramble on about unimportant things like how unrealistic Hollywood movies were or about America's 'terrible' education system. Pfft—and England would even feel insulted when he felt Alfred had drifted off.

"Y'u sho'ld list'n to my w'fe," Sweden said again a few minutes later. America cursed under his breath. Not convincing enough. No wonder England always caught him—wait. Huh?

America's brain zoomed in on the one part that peaked his interest: since when did Sweden have a wife? His eyes wandered over to the current speaker. It was Finland, who was presenting enthusiastically about how he, along with the other Nordics were promoting gender neutrality. Then, America unconsciously scanned the rest of the room and noticed that most of the nations were paying close attention to Finland talk. Very close attention. Kind of how they did with Arthur, except America didn't see Finland being constantly asked out and flirted with. Which was weird. Finland seemed likable, with a happy-go-lucky attitude much like Italy's. Why didn't anyone ask him out, and instead his grouchy England got hounded to go on dates?

Alfred pondered for a moment before he noticed how Sweden stared at Finland. He certainly did not look any different at first glance but looking deeper, America saw that his features were actually softened. Then Sweden looked at the rest of the nations and he would appear sterner, leaving the nations who were watching quivering in fear. Said nations would then tear their eyes away from Finland and start scribbling down notes.

People say that America was an oblivious fool that couldn't read the atmosphere (whatever that meant), but it wasn't true. America was observant—when he wanted to be and when it was important. This time, it helped him make the connection he was looking for.

Sweden was somehow involved in why nations stayed clear of Finland.

Alfred needed to know how Sweden did it. He needed to know so he could do it with Arthur too.

Without thinking, America nudged Sweden's arm, causing Sweden to face him, a glare (?) on his face. (Having lost his awesome reading facial expression skill after he deemed it unimportant, Alfred just couldn't tell anymore)

"How do you get all the other nations to back off from Finland?" Alfred whispered excitedly. One of Sweden's eyebrows tilted upwards very slightly and he looked confused. (Oh good, they were back. _Fantastic!)_

He simply replied, "My w'fe" before turning back to Finland's presentation. At least he had left Alfred with all the information he needed.

America knew exactly why no one sought after Finland like they did England.

He grinned widely.

After he put his plan into action, no one would flirt with his wife ever again.

_Oh look, _America laughed to himself. _I've already started._

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>Okay, so here is the first part. The second one should come quite soon, or so I estimate. I'm actually wondering if it should end as a quick two-shot or if it should be extended as a dabble-y kind of series, with them in different situations.


	2. Part Two

_Part Two_

After the long (very long—too long) meeting, Alfred immediately jumped off his seat and rushed to Arthur's side. However, he frowned when he saw France and England arguing, their hands at each other's necks. Yes, they fought quite often, and one got used to it but America didn't like it. For a simple reason.

France used the fights to grope England.

America could actually see it happening right at that very instant. As he neared the quarrelling duo, he could see lust in France's eyes, the Frenchman's arms sliding away from England's neck to slowly run down the Brit's body, inching dangerously close to Arthur's ass. England seemed oblivious to it happening, concentrating too much on shouting at and maiming France.

Alfred just had to stop it before it went any further.

"Hello guys!" America shouted loudly to attract their attention. "Fighting again?" He laughed a bit forcefully, throwing his arm over England's shoulder and pulling him away from France's grip (subtly, of course). He then wrapped his other arm around Arthur, bringing him into a tight hug and nuzzled his nose into Arthur's hair. "Silly old man," America said cheekily, knowing that it would make Arthur angry. This way, all of Arthur's attention would be on him and France would be forgotten.

And it worked. No duh, America always knew how England would react to his actions. He was awesome that way.

"You git!" Arthur yelled as predicted, pushing on Alfred's chest in a weak attempt to escape his embrace. "How many times must I tell you that I'm not old?"

Alfred guffawed, enjoying having Arthur in his arms. It's been so long. "Aw…but you're just so cute when you react this way."

"S-Shut up, wanker," Arthur stammered and even without looking at him, Alfred knew he was blushing. His adorable Arthur, always acting so flustered at the slightest thing, yet at the same time denying his feelings.

Alfred hummed, rocking Arthur in his arms before he turned his eyes towards France, who was staring at them in amusement. His eyes narrowed as he tightened his hold on Arthur protectively, clearly sending France a 'stay away from him' vibe.

"—you're gripping me too tightly, America!" Arthur complained, shifting about in his hold. "Control your strength, would you? Bloody tosser…"

America ignored him for now though he did loosen his grip just a little—sometimes he forgot that he had amazing super strength, sue him—instead focusing on France and putting his fantastic plan to chase away England's suitors into action. Oh yeah.

"Hey France, don't mean to be rude dude but don't fight with my wife, 'kay?" America said nonchalantly. France's eyebrow quirked upwards, looking quite puzzled and Alfred could already hear Arthur start to protest at his words.

"What did you just call me—?" Arthur was nudging his ribs now, squirming harder in his grasp though Alfred couldn't really feel it.

France, on the other hand, just folded his arms and shook his head, a huge smirk on his face. He clucked his tongue at America and just walked away with an "_Au revoir."_

As he watched France leave, Alfred's face stretched into a triumphant smile. He cheered in his mind. It worked! Calling England his wife actually worked in trying to drive people away!

_It worked, it worked, boo yeah, it worked~ _America sung in his mind. _I'm freaking awesome!_

His little victory song was interrupted by Arthur continuing to pound onto his chest though. Not cool.

Actually, Arthur had been shouting at him for quite a while now but he had just been too absorbed in his thoughts to notice. Oops?

"—not a woman and most definitely _not _your wife… Git, are you even _listening _to me—?"

"Sorry! Sorry! I was listening! _Really!_" Alfred quickly rushed out, finally releasing Arthur from his grip.

"Oh really?" Arthur asked skeptically, raising one of his bushy eyebrows. "Prove it then. What did I just say?"

"Uh…"

"Just as I thought."

"Oh come _on, _Arthur!" Alfred whined. "You can't blame me for not paying attention. You're boring!"

"Belt up! And I _said _that I'm _not _your wife. And I'm asking you politely as a _gentleman _to cease from calling me your wife ever again. _Ever. _Are we clear?"

Alfred chuckled. "Sure, sure…"

* * *

><p>Obviously, America didn't keep to his word.<p>

The World Meeting went on for days. And you can bet that America put those days to good use.

No matter how much Arthur protested, Alfred would use any available chance to call him his wife. He would also say it so casually that one would think he's been doing it for years instead of a few days.

"Hand me the documents please, wife?"

"Let's go out for lunch today, eh wife?"

America was able to sneak it into every conversation just like that. He also put the opportunity that the World Meeting presented to good use by making sure as many nations as possible knew that England was his, yes _his, _wife. When it was his turn to present on the last day of the World Meeting, he boldly referred to England as his wife in front of all the nations.

"Yes, England and I would be working on this project and hopefully that would be able to help improve pollution in our cities. Now, since all that technical stuff that my _wife _and I will be doing is all sorted out, here's a way better plan to stop global warming—!" America said proudly, though he was staring pointedly at _certain _nations when he emphasised on the word 'wife'. He glanced over at England to see his reaction to his what he had said. Maybe now that everyone knew, Arthur would start to accept it…

Yeah, no. Alfred couldn't really see the expression on Arthur's face since he was facing downwards, pretending to focus hard on the document in front of him (it was quite obvious that he was pretending since England would always be one of the first people to call his ideas 'stupid' or 'implausible'), but he knew that Arthur was no doubt blushing like crazy and was attempting to hide his flush and act as if it didn't bother him.

However, once America returned to his seat next to England (after the first day, America made sure to come early so that he could always sit by England's side), Arthur glared heatedly at him and kicked him in the shin. He did it discreetly though, so no one really paid them any mind.

"Why did you do that, you wanker?" Arthur hissed under his breath. "I've told you again and again not to call me by that idiotic title and now you've gone and announced it to the entire bloody world. Are you mad?!"

"Why does it bother you so much?" Alfred asked, pouting. "We're lovers, aren't we? Why can't I call you my wife?"

"B-Because—just stop it! Just stop it, alright? I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. Can't you just listen to me for once?" Arthur's face was turning red and Alfred couldn't help but laugh a little at it.

"That's not a legit reason my darling wife! And what do you mean, wrong idea? We're dating, we're lovers, we have sex, and we even have that Special Relationship! Calling you my wife is only natural! In fact, you should call me your husband! I'm totally fine with that—"

"You bloody prat! Don't you understand that that's not the point—" Arthur was shouting now. "—the point is that I don't _wish _to be called your wife and—"

"England! America! We are in the middle of a meeting! Leave your squabbles to later!" Germany yelled at them, interrupting what England was about to say.

England's face burned and he whispered an embarrassed apology while America cheerfully promised that he won't continue bickering, looking unabashed.

The meeting continued once again, with England totally ignoring America in favour of paying attention to the current presentation.

* * *

><p>"Come on, Arthur! Talk to me! Let's go out for dinner—have a nice date, y'know?" Alfred pleaded with Arthur after the World Meeting officially ended, with Japan thanking all of them for coming to his country before dismissing them.<p>

Arthur didn't reply, still clearly angry.

"Please Arthur! Please! This is the last day we can spend together until the American-British Meeting. That's three months away! Come on, please! You don't want to leave on bad terms, do you?" Alfred continued pestering Arthur, tugging nonstop at his arm.

Arthur eventually sighed. "Alright. I'm still mad at you. Very much pissed, in fact. However, you're right. We shouldn't spend our last day together fighting. Although, it would be entirely your fault if we did. Don't mistake me—I'm not forgiving you. I just want a free dinner, that's all. I'm not doing this for you."

Alfred just nodded his head, lips spread into a wide grin. He knew better than to argue with that.

* * *

><p>"I don't understand why you decided to go to a fast-food joint for our date," Arthur muttered, his gloved hand in Alfred's. It was snowing in Tokyo now. Not much, but it was enough for the ground to be lightly covered by white, fluffy snow. "It's ridiculous."<p>

Alfred chuckled, tightening his grip on Arthur's hand, enjoying the warmth from it. "Well, I didn't hear my wife complaining when we ate it," he teased as they strolled in a park. "I recall a certain Brit quite enjoying himself…"

"Shut up," Arthur said, though there was no harshness behind it. "At least the portions here are smaller than your country's so I can actually stomach eating it…"

"Don't remind me," Alfred moaned. "I had to order fifteen meals to feel satisfied. And the lady at the counter was looking at me all funny."

Arthur shook his head in amusement. "It's a mystery how you're not obese. Really, the amount of food you eat…"

He stopped as shouting was heard. Since both Alfred and Arthur knew Japanese, the words they heard mystified them. Someone was loudly yelling out his love to some girl name Akemi. The voice seemed to be amplified as well; it was too loud to be otherwise. Curious, Alfred started pulling Arthur towards the source of the screaming, wanting to know what was going on. Arthur allowed himself to be pulled along, feeling curious as well.

Alfred followed the shouting until it led them to a crowd of people. The people, some who were Japanese (with their cameras out snapping pictures, as the Japanese tended to do), some who were tourists (with their cameras out snapping pictures, as tourists tended to do) were crowding around a stage decked out with flowers. There was a banner hanging atop the stage, and it looked like some Valentine's Day event. Except it couldn't be, since it was January.

"Love your wife day…?" Arthur read the banner, wondering if he had read it wrongly. "Is that an actual thing?"

"Oh!" Alfred exclaimed. "Japan told me about this! Y'know how Japan is, always so modest and conservative? So apparently this day allows Japanese men to leave all their restrictions behind and express their love to their wives. It's even broadcasted on TV! It's kinda romantic, huh? Weird, but romantic."

Alfred suddenly lowered his voice. "You know, if I was allowed to, I'd go right on that stage and declare my love for you. I'd announce it to all of Japan and to the world, if I have to."

Arthur couldn't help but flush red at Alfred's words. But he wasn't done yet.

Alfred dipped down his head until his mouth was at Arthur's ear. "I love you, Arthur. My wife." He rested his forehead on Arthur's before leaning down for a long, languid kiss.

And for once, Arthur had no objections to Alfred calling him his wife. He just wrapped his arms around Alfred's neck and melted into the kiss.

When Alfred finally pulled away, he stared down into Arthur's green eyes, panting a little. He continued, "But I know you don't really like public displays of affection so I'll just tell it to you, and you alone. And I'm sorry for not listening to you and saying that you're my wife in front of everybody. I'll just call you that when we're alone from now onwards. Is that okay?" He looked at Arthur, eyes shining with hope.

Arthur had a disgruntled look on his face. He pursed his lips; his cheeks were dusted a light pink. "Alright. Fine, you can call me that when we're alone. But only then. You sappy git."

Giggling in joy, Alfred embraced Arthur in a bear hug. "I knew you liked me calling you my wife. You do, don't you? I know you do! I love you so much, my cute little wifey!"

"Mm, you just promised that you'd only call me that when we're alone!

"But, for all it's worth—I love you too, Alfred."

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><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>So that's the end! I guess... I hope you all enjoyed it!

And 'Love Your Wife Day' is an actual thing in Japan. Haha!

P.S. Also, such cheesy endings I have! Oh my! Goodness, and that possessive America - I think I might have a problem.


End file.
